Friends seem unlimited when you are young.
Friendship in those uncomplicated days of youth were easy for
few had managed to accumulate any real emotional baggage and so were still
dripping with naivety and innocence.
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| We all have something to learn from the friendships of the young. |
The friendships of youth are a lesson to us all as they are
forged on an openness, unburdened from suspicion, threat and the understandings
that emerges as we are exposed to the individualities and peculiarities of the
culture we live within.
As a kid, we enjoy and wallow in the commonality of all – we
were simply members of the human family, and that is all that mattered.
However, as we age many things, beyond our hair, thin out
and our friendships also fall away and the arrival for most of a deep and
meaningful friendship after 30 is somewhat rare.
It was Aristotle who said that the
traditional idea of friendship had three components: “Friends must enjoy each
other's company, they must be useful to one another, and they must share a
common commitment to the good”.
In contemporary western societies,
it has been suggested that we tend to define friendship in terms of the first
component and, beyond that we find the notion of utility difficult to align with
friendship.
Finally the idea of “commitment to
the good” is so subjective that rarely do transitory friends find they are able
to commit to such extremes, except on single issue matters.
Work is one of those “single issue
matters” and with many companies diligently convincing workers that what they
do is a “commitment to the good”, although considered broadly it may not be, it
is a place where many friendships, often life-long, evolve.
Work has plagiarized what was once
the province of the neighbourhood where the emphasis was once entirely on the
good; the welfare of all who lived there and friendship was integral, arising
from that trio of enjoyment, utility and commitment.
That common sense of endeavour
produced enduring friendships, resilience and an unspoken agreement that all
would “muck-in” to ensure the welfare of “the one” and therefore the greater
welfare of the entire neighbourhood.
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| Aristotle understood friendship. |
Friendship is about many things,
from the sharing of material goods, the acknowledgement of emotional needs and
sharing with others in their joys, successes, sorrows and the many other manifestations
of life, both good and bad.
As years pass, pre-derelictions,
passions and past-times harden and become fewer as do meaningful friendships
and accompanying that collapse is the dissolution of resilient communities.
Should we value community, then
build friendships and in considering that we turn again to Aristotle who said:
“Wishing to be friends
is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit”.
However,
free of forebodings, friendship was something the young seemed to accomplish in
mere minutes.
