The atheist and a pastor talked over coffee . . . . .
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| Coffee can be a wonderful sustenance for conversation. |
That sounds a little like the opening line of a joke,
however it is not, rather a story of friendship; a friendship that was the
manifestation of a personal project initiated a couple of years earlier.
About two years ago it seemed that much was to be learned in
talking with a stranger each day and what was once little more than a frivolous
past-time is now entrenched in my life.
At first it takes effort, but as time passes that connection
with another person fulfils what is an innate human social need appears
natural, and as easy, as the next breath.
I set out with a few personal rules – one, shop assistants
don’t count as they are paid to talk with you and, two, nor does the casual
exchange of pleasantries with strangers you pass on the street.
The killer app, so to speak, was that the conversation was
to be meaningful; meaning that when it ended, both you and the stranger had
learned something about each other.
Talking with a friend about the idea, he said he talks with
people all day, but they are people he inevitably knows, a reality, I suggest,
that afflicts most people.
Most of us stay within clearly delineated comfort zones;
emotionally understandable places from which we don’t stray as any move beyond
those boundaries demands a cognitive effort that can be disruptive, disturbing
an imagined inner-harmony.
Despite the concerns of the new, the unknown and plunging
headfirst into a relationship without apparent reason, there are rich rewards and
benefits that cannot be measured in the usual economic way.
Whatever you might say, believe or whatever your experience,
we are social creatures and our health, physical, mental and otherwise, needs
us to connect with others.
Occasionally I have had to specifically seek out a stranger,
but once you are conscious of them and understand why we should talk with them,
they are in fact everywhere and nearly always eager to have a chat.
Most every significant struggle in life is replete with
comments about how strangers “pulled together” to ensure their community was
equal to the difficulty – you get a small taste of what it is that bonds those
unfamiliar when you talk with a stranger.
People, it seems, might love family and friends, and enjoy a
workmate’s company, but most enjoy talking with a stranger for while it can be
a little risqué in that it provokes your thought patterns, breaking them wide
open, it illustrates that everything is not exactly as you thought.
The pastor and the atheist: I’m the atheist and the pastor,
once a stranger, but now a friend.
