Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Personal pools of inadequacy arise at Simon's celebration


Personal pools of inadequacy became both deeper and wider as plaudits were piled upon the life of the late Simon Furphy.

This rather special portrait of Simon Furphy
was on show at the recent celebration
of his life on the banks of the
 Sevens Creeks at Arcadia.
Funerals are rarely places of criticism or doubt and so to hear such laudable talk of a fellow who for 60 years had been an intimate player in Shepparton’s practical and social life should not have surprised.

No, the praise was not a surprise, but what did catch me unprepared was how Simon’s honesty and passion for life left me feeling like I had not really had a “crack”, how I had been less than an ideal husband, father and friend, and how I had failed to use my skills, whatever they might be, to make this a better place.

From all accounts Simon lived his life as if the glass was half full and even in the final days of his struggle with bowel cancer, he was, according to family and friends, fiercely optimistic, illustrating to the end a signature trait.

Hundreds of family and friends recently gathered on the banks of the Sevens Creek, beneath shady gum trees, at the Arcadia property of his brother and sister-in-law, Andrew and Frederica to recognise and celebrate the former Shepparton solicitor, through music and story.

Simon had been a diligent fellow, but also, so we were told at his “celebration”, of his ease in acquiring friends and his curious penchant for striking alliances that brought personal benefits or enriched whatever group he was with.

No matter how jolly people may be, funerals, or a celebration in Simon’s case can be less than uplifting for even though we might all still be alive, and that of itself is cause for joy, there is a sombre sense about the whole affair.

Listening to the wonderful optimistic, upbeat, sociality and enthusiasm Simon brought to life ignited reflection upon what it is to be human.

Unquestionable Simon, as with the rest of us, had his failings and as suggested by author Isaiah Berlin, was built from the same “crooked timbers of humanity”, just as we are.

Ironically, just about the time we gathered on the banks of the Sevens Creek to listen to music and tells stories about Simon, and celebrate his life, a book about our denial of death had slid into view.

We all live with the implicit understanding that death awaits us and so are driven to sometimes bizarre ends to achieve imagined immortality and frequently those efforts manifest themselves in less than kindly ways.

Strip away the façade that is modern life and revealed are the reasons why men hurl themselves over parapets to certain death, why we exhaust ourselves acquiring what we want, rather than need and why we are victims of a surfeit of emotion.

And yes, it was a celebration, and yes, if I perceive Simon as portrayed, it was sad we kicked up our heels without him.