Cherish your friends, for they may leave without notice

Sometimes a friend leaves unexpectedly.

The Stutz Bearcat -
 looking at it, I was
in 'communion'
with my friend.

That sudden and unexpected exit leaves those of us still sitting at the table with a strange hollowness and a legion of answered questions; our friend took with him much of the knowledge that enriched our breadth and depth.

Sometimes such a sudden departure drives a re-examination of personal values and beliefs manifesting thoughts about what importance we put on a scheduled, but relaxed and casual lunch.

To approach such a lunch with the distinct sense of fatalism would in fact probably be fatal for the friendship that initiated the gathering.

Lunch with a friend is, in most instances, not a pessimistic affair, rather quite the reverse and so how do you celebrate the friendship, enjoy the company and yet do it joyously knowing full well that the randomness of life could intervene removing you or another, anytime, from the list of dinners.

Any antidote to such a dilemma is as different as those involved, but curiousity can help dislodge it from the shadows; curiousity spiced with humour, compassion, care, consideration and interest in what it is that ignites a friend’s passions.

Such values are not personality specific, but their application hinges on the root of friendship, trust, and so the advancement of any friendship, fleeting or enduring, hinges on the richness of that trust.

My friend, who left without warning, practiced a trade in which trust was the driver and strangely while trained in skills about caring for the frailties of the human body, privately he was passionately interested in the hard-edge mechanics of motor cars, in fact anything with wheels.

Trusting my friend’s judgement I visited the newly established Shepparton Motor Museum, in which he had been deeply involved and was in fact delivering his latest purchase (a rather old French moped) when he took his leave.

Walking in the door my eyes fell upon a beautifully restored Stutz Bearcat from early last century. It was not his type of car, I suspect, as he was taken by beautiful and different European cars from later in the century, but as it oozed the perfection, the attention to detail and the mechanical sophistication of its era, I was, for a few minutes, in communion with my friend.

That sense of closeness remained as I wandered about admiring the wonderful collection of cars, motorcycles and bicycles – the museum wasn’t built for that purpose, but for me it was like a memorial to my friend.

Death is the only certainty in life and the embrace of friendship can enrich what is an uncertain journey and should that chair at the dinner table be left unexpectedly empty, recall that the randomness of life is non-negotiable pressing the belief that every moment matters.

Refurbished lake enriches city's personality

Shepparton’s refurbished Victoria Park Lake enriches the city’s personality.

A sign at Shepparton's Victoria
Park Lake outlining all that
is proposed.

The city, established on a depressingly flat topography and which has turned its back on its richest asset, the river, needed something to lift it above the banal and so what was pretty much as swamp became a lake.

The lake, however, is more than that for it is a truly visible and tangible link with water and as humans have an intrinsic need for water – without it we die – what is pictorially pleasant, is also comforting and quietly reassuring.

Early manifestations of the lake arrived after significant community effort, including many tireless working bees.

What we see now however, and enjoy was not so easily, or cheaply, achieved.

Works to lift the lake from its somewhat dated state to its present level of sophistication, including an active water quality maintenance system; the creation of a space that allows for passive water sports; improved safety; the establishment of intriguing walker paths; extensive plantings that attract wildlife, help with water quality; and the sweeping beautification of the area cost more than $5 million.

Those unable to appreciate the aesthetic value and benefits of such an undertaking looked on with wonderment as “their” money was being spent on something with no apparent commercial relevance to the city.

Although noisy in their criticism, the critics were obviously wrong as the lake is more than what it is in that it contributes substantially to the broader health of our community.

Life today is rather hurried and 30 minutes strolling around the lake or sitting on the lawns or one of the many nearby seats, becomes a peaceful oasis in a life that appears more interested in what happens next rather than focussing on the moment.

It took courage and vision by those who sat on the City of Greater Shepparton Council to advocate such an idea and publically embrace the millennia old values of the Athenians and strive to create a place which celebrates grace and beauty.

The utilitarians among us who see only advantage in that which is both practical and functional and whose success they measure only in direct financial profit have little sympathy for such things as Victoria Park Lake

The cultural achievements of Athens, democracy’s nursery, and Athenians themselves, held in high esteem the discipline, skill, and taste that are required to produce enduring art.

The imagination, discipline and behaviour so prized by the Athenians echoes in what we now see at Shepparton’s Victoria Park Lake, a spectacular piece of different and practical public art.

All of us own that “piece of art” and so in concert with the thinking that drove its creation we need to enjoy and respect it, taking just pictures, and leaving only footprints.

Democracy is alive and well in Shepparton

Democracy, it appears, is alive and well in the City of Greater Shepparton.

A diverse group of 26 people have nominated for the October 27 municipal election, but just seven will take their place at the council table.

The record field of candidates suggests the vibrancy of democracy, but the caveat of “it appears” shifts the responsibility to you and me, the voters.

Should we care about the future and welfare of our city, we will diligently sift through what is an impressive array of people; consider their positions and then vote for those you believe are best equipped to manifest a city that equates with your values.

However, democracy is not that easy and it doesn’t end at the ballot box or in this case with your postal vote.

Simply voting for this or that person is not playing your role in democracy rather, it is just the beginning.

Success in business is about relationships and a similar template is needed if democracy is to operate in full flower.

Democracy is noisy, discordant and rarely without its contrarian thinkers; is disruptive and frequently contradictory in its essence, but oddly that sometimes jarring behaviour is in fact its strength.

Although councillors may not publically agree about much, there needs to be an underlying sympathy for a similar goal and the Rule of Law – councillors need to step beyond the pungent influence of individuality and although passions and desires maybe diverse, and robust, they need to be sacrificed to concerns for the long-term viability of the City of Greater Shepparton.

Our relationship with those we elect extends way past simply putting a cross on a ballot paper for without input from us, our councillors operate in a perverse knowledge vacuum.

Although elected to administer our city, it is not something they can do effectively unless they hear regularly from us about how we would like our city to evolve.

Our councillors don’t need criticism; they need encouragement.

Obviously things don’t always happen in a way we hope or imagine, but rather than bleat among friends about our city’s shortcomings and failure to take opportunities, we need to take our views to the council and individual councillors in a formal manner.

Whatever we might say or think, the 60 000 strong City of Greater Shepparton is the modern manifestation of a tribe and history is loaded with examples of the success found by tight-knit and empathetic tribes.

Democracy is adversarial in intent, but if treated with care and respect; the care and respect on which genuine relationships are founded it can serve our city well.

Vote for who you believe will guide Shepparton in the direction you prefer and then engage with them and make democracy work.

 

Beauty, death and the inexpicable

Beauty is everywhere, just as is death.

The rose is for many a
 symbol of beauty, but equally
linked to death.

Interestingly, and paradoxically, I’m midway through reading a book about beauty and a rash of deaths have impacted on my life.

Death has a perverse beauty, but that is conditional, the caveat being that the exit must be timely; death should be the culmination of a life well-lived, or at least on that allowed for the realization of the person’s hopes and dreams.

Anything sooner than that leaves us with a hollowness, an uncertainty and the nagging question of why?

Of course the technicalities of why can easily be answered, but there are grander implications that arouse confusion and mystery when the death appears untimely.

Humanity broadly understands, and so generally accepts, that death awaits us all, rather patiently, at the end of a well-lived life.

We become confused and the mystery of why only deepens when the imagined scythe-wielding reaper appears early in someone’s life, gives a somewhat sickly smile as our friends depart with a rush we are unable to understand.

This recent rash of deaths began with the expected, but early, death of friend in her 60s – expected as it was, she had time to hand paint her own coffin.

Next it was Jill Meagher, someone I obviously didn’t know, but like many others, the television images of her final moments were etched in my mind making the connection with that young woman strangely real.

Recently, the “reaper” swooped by, much closer.

Lunch with a friend a few weeks back on a Friday was followed the next morning by a relatively innocuous accident that was to take his life a few days later.

He wasn’t ready to go as he had much to do and it was only at that Friday lunch he had talked about statistically having another twenty healthy years to live. He was alive with enthusiasm.

Even more difficult to understand was the death last week of a 28-year-old workmate who had undergone an operation to further repair damage to a leg injured in a road accident nearly two decades ago.

She was young, married and along with her husband was building a life together, but on Friday all the hopes and dreams fell into ruin.

This seemingly nonsensical conclusion to well-lived lives causes us to again wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Searching for answers, I quizzed a Christian friend, whose beliefs are the antithesis of mine, but he provided little comfort, adding only that it was an age-old question.

Struggling with the vacuum that is death we can do little, it seems, but fill the bizarre and confusing nothingness with reassuring and comforting images and memories of that person’s innate beauty, the warmth of their engaging smile and their generousity.

 

Socially complex, sad and unreasonable and illogical

The abduction, rape and murder of Jill Meagher was, and is, as socially complex as it is sad.

Steven Pinker's book
in which he uses
 statistics to illustrate
 the decline of
violence.

Reports of the event sent a decided sense of fear ricocheting throughout communities, particularly in Victoria.

As desperately sad as the circumstance is, when considered objectively, it was as rare as it is distasteful.

Whatever we might say or think, or communities are less violent now than they once were, a fact made abundantly clear by author Steven Pinker in his latest book, "Better Angels of Our Nature: Why Violence Has Declined" .

Pinker relies on the brutality of statistics to help his readers understand that in this modern era such happenings in which Meagher became sadly entangled are a rarity, while only a century ago they were significantly more frequent.

People now are, Pinker eloquently points out, far less inclined to prosecute their desires and feelings through violence than was the case.

An event such as that involving Jill Meagher is launched into the public eye through the efficiency of main-stream media and it then comes under the unblinking public gaze through the seemingly ceaseless and masturbatory-like effect of social media, all along ignoring the infrequency of such things.

The public focus on that one relatively rare event raises the spectre of violence in our communities, a menace that is unquestionably real, but one that is lessened as education increases.

The more learned people become, the more they abandon the sword and take up the word – education ameliorates aggression.

Many have marched in memory of Meagher and that deserves applause, but their energy should not simply dissipate on the streets, rather be the beginnings of push to enhance the broader decency of our communities.

In taking Meagher’s life, the perpetrator stole not only her future, but along with that a sense of trust among people, even those geographically remote from the Sydney Rd incident.

Some women have already talked about the insecurity they now sense in certain situations and others have said that there are some parts of Shepparton they once avoided if possible, but now they most certainly will.

That I understand, but accepting the realities of life and being prepared to consent to statistics illustrated by Pinker, their concern is unfounded.

The expression of one fellow’s fantasies impacted not only those immediately involved, but filtered throughout the community to damage everyone, regardless of gender.

Women are nervous and men, whoever they are, carry the guilt, even though that is both unreasonable and illogical.

The manifestation of what happened on Brunswick’s Sydney Rd early on that September Saturday morning is many faceted, but among the legacies is an increase in the distrust between men and women.

A simple event, an irrevocable change

A friend often talks about how the simplest of events can irrevocably change our lives. 

Flowers gather on the
Sydney Rd footpath
where Jill Meagher
was last seen by CCTV
cameras.

Should we pause for a few moments, he argues, to say “hello” to a friend we have actively, but not consciously, re-shaped our lives.

That brief stop for what was a seemingly innocuous chat shifted our lives from one paradigm onto a wholly new footing with new horizons opening and some hopes and dreams closing down.

That is, granted, somewhat dramatic, but when considered analytically, it is true.

Life, no matter how hard you might try to control it or comply with your hope and dreams, or respond to other yearnings, there is a rogue randomness about our lives.

A few seconds spent talking with a friend folds almost invisibly into our lives and beyond the relative importance of the exchange, it is not seen, mostly, as having any significant relevance to how our lives are evolving.

Examples of life’s randomness abound with the most recent being the abduction, rape and murder of Melbourne ABC reporter, Jill Meagher, on Saturday morning.

Jill Meagher - witty
and intelligent.

That random event began seemingly innocuously and ended in a rather grisly way – desperately sad for Jill Meagher, her family, friends and workmates, and in what must have been a fleeting opportunistic decision, the perpetrator’s life changed forever.

Considering such moments in life, we can all torture ourselves with a million “what ifs”, but that will not do any good for as a friend told me years ago what is “is” and cannot be changed regardless of hope, prayers or actions.

The randomness of life is non-negotiable.

Interestingly it is something we cannot avoid, we can twist, turn, manipulate, take this or that stand, but never can we divorce randomness from our lives, but importantly, and strangely, it is that randomness that brings life fully alive.

Blandness awaits those who attempt to remove randomness from their daily affairs and sidestep its impact and even worse it can bring on a noticeable neurosis that can manifest itself in ways that play out in moments such as those on Brunswick’s Sydney Road on Saturday morning.

Of course the mysterious randomness of life does not always necessarily lead to grim or bad moments for equal to those who can point to difficulties; tragedy and disaster are those who can illustrate happenings that were happy, enlightening and rewarding.

Random and unplanned moments have led to wonderful life-long relationships, business successes, and serendipitous discoveries for which no-one can take responsibility short of saying that “they were in the right place at the right time.”

Of course, there is the opposite and what apparently began as a simple event for Jill Meagher changed her life irrevocably.

Jo doesn't 'believe' in climate change, but she BELIEVES in science

Former Melbourne
 Age, science writer,
 Jo Chandler.

Jo Chandler doesn’t believe in climate change, but she does believe in science.

The implication of that observation for the former science writer at the Melbourne Age is that the science of climatology illustrates conclusively that humans have changed the world’s weather patterns.

Ms Chandler, who only took voluntary redundancy at The Age last month, was one of two speakers at the University of Melbourne’s “A conversation on the climate crisis”.

Her fellow speaker at the seminar was the author of the Garnaut Climate Change Review, Professor Ross Garnaut. His 2008 report was then presented to the Australian Government and updated last year.

Ms Chandler told the more than 100 people who joined the conversation that family and friends often asked her why she believed in climate change.

She said she doesn’t, rather she believes in the clear, unambiguous and evidence-based findings of science that illustrate the reality of the changes we have made to our atmosphere.

Professor Ross Garnaut, who presented his review to the then Australian Prime Minister, Mr Kevin Rudd, came to the recent conversation with an unparalleled understanding of the economic impact of climate change on Australia.

Prof Garnaut appears a naturally conservative fellow and even when exploring the most damning scenarios of our changing climate, talks in a kindly way and seems to avoid observations the might “scare the horses”.

Ross Garnaut.

Despite that, Prof Garnaut was unable to avoid the facts; facts that point to a certain two degree rise in earth’s temperature (we are at less than one degree at the moment) and explore realities suggesting even the two degree number is conservative.

Leaving the seminar feeling somewhat euphoric about having been a part of reasoned and respectful conversation about a crisis not yet understood, I walked straight into a Melbourne that is what it is because of business as usual, a paradigm that underpins our changing climate.

The dichotomy was evident; some understand, recognise and want action on the crisis, but even within that mindset there appears to be a reluctance to let go of the good life.

That made me think of Homer Simpson, who in trying to pilfer a soft drink from a dispenser, became trapped and after significant effort it was realized that if he loosened his grip on the can, his hand could slide free.

Humanity is locked in the “Homer Simpson paradigm” and until we are prepared to let go of our lavish life-style, scale it back and accept a simpler life we, like that cartoon hero, will remain trapped, and doomed to difficult times.

I stand with Jo Chandler and, like her, embrace science and align myself with the likes of Ross Garnaut enjoying his respectfulness and kindly behaviour.